On What We Come Home To
Full Moon Report ft. the Four of Wands, Nine of Cups, and Two of Cups
Noemí Delgado
Cards from the Rider-Waite Tarot deck
On this Lunar Eclipse Full Moon in Gemini, I ask the deck, my ancestors, our angels, and the Divine for guidance on Insecurity.
The Mind: Four of Wands
We are all familiar with the feeling of Insecurity; it has a powerful presence in a culture that teaches us to be in constant Search of proof that we’re valuable. In a culture where value is found externally, even when we accomplish or gain what we thought would finally bring us security, the Search continues. The Four of Wands speaks to a deeply fulfilling and joyful sense of arrival. This card teaches us about building safe havens to come home to, which we can do with our minds. Close your eyes and visualize a peaceful place where you are free from external validation. What does this place look like? What sounds do you hear? How do you feel?... There, you did it! The imagination is a beautiful remedy for Insecurity, and children—who tend to be genuinely and profoundly self-assured—use this tool all the time. The more you practice arriving at your mentally-constructed sanctuary, the less you’ll engage in the never-ending Search for evidence of your worth… and eventually your escape from this Search will become your “reality.”
The Body: Nine of Cups
If Insecurity is the weed that overruns our gardens, dissatisfaction is its seed—allowing this feeling to reproduce exponentially. The Nine of Cups depicts a revolutionary indulgence in the feeling of satisfaction. Having pulled this card for The Body serves as a reminder to use our physical selves as vehicles for contentment. Your body is a space for your spirit to play in this physical dimension, so honor this unique opportunity: indulge in a rich meal, sacred adornment, sensual experiences, and gratifying sensations. Notice how, during these moments of overwhelming satisfaction, Insecurity dissipates.
The Spirit: Two of Cups
As social creatures, our relationships can be a painful source of Insecurity. In order to feel protected from this sort of vulnerability, many of us deny ourselves the ceremony of love for fear of rejection. Others of us live with an extremely delicate sense of security, which is easily interrupted by the moods and behaviors of those we love. The Two of Cups teaches us about another approach to being in relation. This card shares the wisdom of embracing non-egoic love: love that is not tied up in our Search for evidence of our worth. This may sound simple, but it is actually quite rare. When we depend on our relationships to feel good about ourselves, we limit our connections to the material realm instead of realizing how they transcend it. True security comes from the understanding that we do not need to fear losing or disappointing those we love because we are not separate from them.
Next time you find yourself on the culturally constructed hamster wheel of Insecurity, use your imagination as a refuge. Escape the search for value with your mind. Fill the void of dissatisfaction by indulging your senses and embodying gratification. Meditate on the truth that, because all Life comes from the same source, you are intrinsically connected to those you love—a truth that cannot be threatened. Stop searching for it: security is in your mental sanctuary, your corporal fulfillment, and the supremacy of love.
I wish you blessings this moon cycle,
Noemí
Liked this piece? Venmo @cuidandoalas, a collective generating ongoing support—including paying for food, medication, private transportation, and medical bills—for Indigenous language keepers and midwives in El Salvador.
You can read Noemí’s essay “Territory of the Moon Not the State” in issue 1.